Day # 24 Wood and Water

No news today, for me anyway.  I almost wrote that there was also no real desire for news but that would not be true.  This morning, when the place was still and there is just me and my tea and the day ahead, still dark out, I really wanted to read the newspaper.  I'm not sure I even wanted to actually read the news, but I did want the newspaper laid out in front of me.  I never gave over the actual feel of newsprint for the electronic substitute.  I have the Kindle app on my I-touch so I can read travel books and carry them in a small package so I am not immune to the efficiency of digital readers.  I fully intend to carry the I-touch to Thailand and Laos this winter without benefit of actual paper books.  But when it comes to reading for pleasure, either news or books, I love the tactile sense of paper in my hands and, with news, the smell of newsprint.  But again today, I did without.

No newspaper and no lasting Santa buzz either. One of the Buddhist sayings that I always liked was "Before Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.  After Enlightenment, chop wood, carry water."  Let me hasten to add, no statement that has anything to do with Enlightenment has anything to do with me.  This saying is often interpreted to mean that all of the daily work of living continues on, even as perceptions change.  No matter what.

I apply this saying to my own life on a much more mundane level.  On rare occasions I am allowed tantalizing glimpses of what perception could be like, of what even the slightest weakening of the chains of self might feel like.  The glimpses never last.  The red suit and beard come off after four hours and the kids are gone.  I stop being a vehicle for the happiness of others, even in my tiny little role as Santa.  I am back to just chopping the wood and toting the bucket.

While I was in my office today, my boss and his son starting in on another political discussion.  I felt the anger start up in me, just for a second.  No way I wanted to let those inane assertions go unrefuted.  Then I got up, closed the door and turned up KEXP, and went back to the chopping and toting.  No enlightenment and none on the horizon of the next jillion of my lives, but it was a very small step forward I think.