First off, let me come clean and say that I am sick and staying at home and inside during one of the only sunny spring days we have had so far this year. If you were expecting insightful commentary from me, well, on virtually any day that would make you delusional, but particularly so today. I am not even going to be able to work up a good rant. So, given the circumstances, I am going to go all heavy-weight and talk about something of dreadful importance to us all: PEEPS!!
Peeps are one of those things that sound really good until you actually bite into one. Just like donuts, they are a great concept and a horrid reality. Sort of like shellac for one's mouth. While I will tear apart cake and pie with gluttonous glee, Peeps just aren't my thing. But regardless of whether you hate the little bunnies and chicks, love them, or just want to buy a big ole 16-pack to do horrible things to them, its good to know that the little marshmellow critters come in green, blue, lavendar, orange, pink or yellow. If you are really daring you can get them in dark or milk chocolate and even chocolate mousse.
Peeps have become a cultural phenomenon. I do not believe that I have ever eaten an entire peep, at least not since I've been sober, but each year I love the peep photos that are churned out in response to newspaper and online contests. And for good times there is nothing like micro-waving a nice grouping of peeps into twisted alien blobs from hell.
If you like a cleaner ending for your peep, here is what happens when you shoot one with a pellet gun:
Pretty Cool, huh?
According to the website for the makers of Peeps, "In 1953, it took 27 hours to create one PEEPS® Marshmallow Chick. Today, thanks to advances in technology, it takes six minutes." Good thing too, what with all of the Peeps getting shot and made into dioramas and whatnot.
The popularity of the marshmallow critters should not be underestimated. Again, says the website: "Just Born produces enough PEEPS® Brand Marshmallow Candies in one year to circle the earth twice." That is a 50,000 mile long Peeps conga line. Who wouldn't love that?
If you are a more vertically oriented human being, this might be of greater interest: "If you had 8,000 PEEPS® bunnies, and you stood them in a straight vertical line, you could reach the top of the Sears Tower in Chicago." Before you try this I would recommend having a large supply of toothpicks on hand to lend structural stability to your peeps tower. Also, alternating colours will give it a pleasing visual aspect.
The true joy of Peeps, however, is their amazing ability to make a political statement. My favorite in the last few years is the image that I will leave you with, Wide-Stance Peep, in honour of the I-am-not-gay ex-Senator from Idaho, Larry Craig.
This one's the Peep
This one's the Perp
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